Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
