Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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