The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
