He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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