I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
