i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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