I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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