It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
