my phone needs a breathalizer
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
