I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize