i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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