All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize