Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's official drugs can't kill me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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