I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
True college students do jello shots in the library
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
