i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
