she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
