Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
