The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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