I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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