Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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