She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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