As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
