you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
