Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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