in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just threw up on my dentist
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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