Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In other news, I just burned my penis
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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