I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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