Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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