waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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