The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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