She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
