he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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