Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
