But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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