Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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