$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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