I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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