Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Bring me that man meat
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
