On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
