NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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