she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
50% drunk capacity currently
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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