I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
