rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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