New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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