I wish I only lived at night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
