He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
