Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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