Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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