Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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