whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
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