i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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