I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
