The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
