some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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