I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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