super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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