My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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