if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
