I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
two words: eviction party
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
